For Josh Cagwin, a sophomore at Leeds studying accounting, Crohn’s disease may be a defining factor of his life’s journey, but courage is the defining factor of his character.
It took courage for Cagwin to stand in front of several hundred people at the Rocky Mountain Chapter of the gala recently to deliver a speech, sharing his story of resilience and determination in dealing with Crohn’s, an incurable, inflammatory bowel disease (IBD).
Cagwin was the Patient Honoree at the September 14 event, aptly named “Night of Hope: Sparking Change for a Brighter Tomorrow,” held at The Cable Center in Denver.
In some ways, Cagwin’s speech seemed like destiny. He has been involved with the foundation for a decade, since he was 9—not just as a member, but also as a dedicated fundraiser and advocate for its work.
“As soon as I got diagnosed, my mom was really into it. She found the organization right away. So, it’s always been a part of my life,” he said.
“I’ve seen people doing speeches at the events, and they always told me that I’d be one of the people going up there. I never thought I would be, but now, I’m doing that.”
Pushing through fear
Pushing through feeling nervous about public speaking is one more thing to add to the activities where Cagwin has proven his courage. He remembered feeling “terrified” when he was first diagnosed with Crohn’s. He had experienced a rapid weight loss of 20 pounds, and a sudden abscess required emergency surgery. Vivid memories include waking up in the hospital to a sterile smell, the sounds of beeping machines and an IV in his arm.
In an essay Cagwin wrote for his writing class last semester, he described a family trip to Hawaii that occurred right before his Crohn’s diagnosis. His dad was excited for the family to go out on an outrigger boat (like a canoe), even though the waves that day were higher than usual, and most boat owners were unwilling to take passengers out.
“The first time riding back on the waves was great; you got the same effect of a surfboard with less work. The second time back was the moment that my mom says was like how I got Crohn’s. We were riding a huge wave, and as we went over the wave, the tip of the boat went into the water. It all happened so fast: We were riding the wave, and the next second we were in the water,” Cagwin recalled.
“When I first got Crohn’s, I felt like I wasn’t going to be normal ever again.”
Josh Cagwin (Acct’27)
He got through his first infusion of Remicade, the drug Cagwin’s mother refers to as a “miracle drug.” The pinch of the needle, knowing that his mom had to leave once it was inserted, waiting two hours until the infusion was done, and then removing the tape at the end, which also inevitably took the hair off his arm, all added up to a "terrifying" first experience. Cagwin still has infusions every eight weeks now, but he is getting a drug called AVSOLA.
There were other scary firsts along the way: going to overnight camp alone to Camp Oasis, a camp for kids with Crohn’s—where Cagwin one day wants to return as a counselor—and starting college in a different state away from his hometown of Atlanta.
Cagwin, a cross-country runner since high school,also persevered when completing five half-marathons with Team Challenge, a fundraising arm of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation. His first half-marathon was in New Orleans five years ago when he was only 14.
“By the end of the half marathon, I was chafing so bad I thought I was bleeding. But I always like to finish what I started. So, for the last mile, I was walking like a penguin ...I was still so proud of myself for finishing a half-marathon, no matter how much pain I was in.”
Learning from transformative experiences
Cagwin has found ways to turn his challenging experiences into lessons.
One lesson is that humor is helpful. For example, he wrote about his first experience at Camp Oasis: “I don’t know why they thought nine people with a bowel disease and only two bathrooms was a good idea.”
Connections with friends are invaluable, especially with those who have undergone similar experiences and can relate to the issues of chronic illness. Cagwin credits his Team Challenge friends and coaches for helping him realize his potential, achieving his personal best with each consecutive run.
Having the support network of family keeps life moving forward as Cagwin juggles full-time school, part-time work, running, and continued involvement with the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation. His family moved from Atlanta to Denver for his father to take a new job in finance (one reason Cagwin has chosen to study accounting), so he is glad that he now gets to see his parents every weekend.
Next steps
Cagwin is increasingly taking over more of his own medical care, arranging doctor’s appointments and following a vegetarian diet. He is hoping to pursue an accounting internship to help determine whether he definitively wants to major in it.
Running plays a pivotal role in maintaining his health and a positive attitude. Cagwin is planning to add a full marathon to his list of accomplishments this year.
“When I first got Crohn’s, I felt like I wasn’t going to be normal ever again… Even though I thought my life was going to be worse, I've had some of the best moments because of getting Crohn’s. So, I don’t look down upon it anymore because I’m happy with what I’ve got.”
He remembers to be grateful.
“I know a lot of other people that haven't been as lucky as me,” Cagwin said. He has been in remission for 10 years. “Some people had to get part of their colon removed, and they have a [colostomy or ileostomy] bag they have to use. And some people are in and out of remission, having to see a lot of doctors.”
His philosophy for running is a great tactic for continually finding the courage within to confront whatever comes next: “I pick a spot in front of me and say, ‘Make it to there.’ And then do it again. And then again."